This morning Reid and I bravely walked into the school bright and early to face the music. We sat down with the teacher who went over what the story was and why she chose to handle the situation the way she did. In a way, I felt better, because she wasn't telling me I had an immoral kid, just that this type of situation will not be tolerated and he needs to learn that now. He didn't say anything as terrible as what I imagined. At 9 years old, he can't possibly understand the subtleties of social correctness or the potential ramifications of his actions but choices were made and consequences are now upon us.
I am hopeful Reid heard what we said and we won't have to address this with him again. He appeared as though he got the message. I trust that he has a beautiful heart- I see it when he plays with his sister. We all do things mindlessly that we come to regret later, so I hope he is able to forgive himself for this.
I have been triggered by this event. I have been in an emotionally sad and hopeless feeing mood all day. I have done my best to sit with this feeling knowing it won't last and also trying to find the wisdom in the situation. Anytime, I feel this way it is demonstrating the areas in which I need to grow.
At some point today, I noticed a hawk sitting on our fence. I took a picture with my phone from inside and it seemed to sense my presence and turned it's head 180 degrees to look at me. I was reminded of Elizabeth Gilbert telling Oprah about her tradition of going on a hike on New Years Day and whatever animal she came upon first was her spirit animal for the year. I decided to look up the hawk as a spirit animal and read this: "The Hawk comes to you indicating that you are now awakening to your soul purpose, your reason for being here. It can teach you how to fly high while keeping yourself connected to the ground. The message for you is to be open to hope and new ideas, to extend the vision of your life."
It felt fitting to see the hawk and read this today of all days. I am learning how to fly high and see with perspective the events of my life. I feel blessed today that I got this visit and reminder. Thank you God.